Your reading this article because you need help right?
Well we want to make this is simple as possible without the Psychobabble. There is a difference between a Counsellor, a Psychologist & a Psychiatrist. Much like going to a General Doctor or GP, versus then going to a Specialist Doctor, then maybe a Professor of that discipline. Naturally the more defined their skills, the more specific they will be in their chosen field.
It would be rare if not unlikely that you would seek relationship advice from a Psychiatrist, for one their fees are the highest, and well deserved I might add, though you would most likely seek them out for extreme mental illnesses, or when medical intervention is required. Whereas a Marriage & Relationship Counsellor deals daily in the issues that arise commonly with couples, who will be the first port of call.
What we have found to be true, there are patterns of unhappiness that occur over time in relationships. You may think your problem or partner is the first to have had an experience like it, or behave in a way that is not normal. Well more often than not at some point in time we all experience common problems, they are just dressed in different clothes.
The biggest thing to bear in mind if you have the made decision to seek help, is not to expect an overnight result to your problems or issues. It may have taken 5, 10 or 20 years for these concerns to fester when you hit the breaking point. Unfortunately as many as 50% of clients that come to our practice have left it all too late.
If you are one of those in the 50% that it has gone too far, help is still at hand. What we know is that people that bounce from one relationship to the next tend to attract the same problems, or what may seem like the identical partner. This is because they have not dealt with the dirty laundry, so to speak. That’s where we can help.
Next in identifying your ideal Marriage or Relationship Counselor requires you to interview the Counsellor. Some people think a male or a female may give them better understanding, and that can work fine sometimes, though the right Counsellor will have both people’s interests at heart. It never ceases to amaze us how coming as individuals the story can be completely different or at least how it is interpreted. The right Counsellor will be smart enough to decipher fact from fiction, then they will apply or recommend the correct strategies for coming to a resolve, or improving behaviors.
There are various techniques for extracting the information from a client, and it is not all about the perceived lying down on the long leather sofa to reflect on childhood dramas, or bad experiences. Yes there could be some underlying unpleasant circumstances that have tainted you, or scarred you for life, that is a real possibility and it is not to be shrugged off. Though what we are trying to do in this article is firstly help you find the right Counsellor.
Our advice is ask that Counselor how they plan to help you, what techniques or real solutions do they offer. If you are going to see someone that sits there like a stunned mullet, asking you “How does that make you feel”, then expect if that is their only trick in the book, your real problems will not be resolved.
This is why at Positive Life Counseling in our practice on the Gold Coast we attract the couples that have had no success with their previous Counsellor, why you may ask? Because putting it politely, they are too fluffy for want of a better word.
If you want real solutions to real problems, seek out a Counsellor that is determined to get your life heading in the right direction, either with your current partner, or at least prepare you for greater happiness before the next relationship. Life is too short not to be happy.